The Sassy Wiggle

I have never been an eye roller...I leave that to The Silence, even though he says he does not...he does...often.

I have been a 'whatever' person. Though that got a short shift by the introduction of a wooden paddle and even more time spent with my nose in a corner.

Now we have the 'Sassy Wiggle' Which has nothing to do with this lot.....

It is more like this:

And the Hoh is starting to notice other little 'Sassy' moves.

The Sassy Wiggle

The Sassy Face

The Sassy 'hmmm'

The Sassy Toes

The incredibly Sassy Fingers

Oh sheesh, there is far to much 'Sassy' in my life at the moment. No wonder the Hoh is getting used to recognising them all. 

All of them getting put to rights under the new implement from Willie..(thanks Willie)

Hugs to all and may it be a spank free day!

Why Taking Back Control is not Good For Us

Why Taking Back Control is not Good for Us

Yet another essay

(It means that: 1 – I get a spanking, 2 – I end up having to write a 750 word essay)

My husband is the leader of the home. Not just within our marriage dynamics but also biblically.

When I take back control I am undermining his leadership and without meaning to subconsciously rebelling against him in his leadership role. This makes him feel like he is inadequate as a leader and husband in the home. This in turn causes disharmony within the relationship.

Being submissive/obedient to my husband makes him feel loved and contented (at least I think it does). When I take back control, I am upsetting the balance that we have strived to reach. It cause disharmony between the both of us.  It takes a while to get back to where we should be. Sometimes taking back that control is very subtle (like a snake in long grass).

Yeah, I know it is a cat..but it was so much cuter than a snake

But in case you want the real deal.....

 It goes un-noticed for awhile before suddenly full blown ‘control’ issues are seen. Through the gradual build up over a period of hours or days of undermining my husband’s authority, I find myself in a position of having to relinquish once again control back to him. The longer the ‘snake in the grass’ gets away with its subtle take over, the harder it is to get back on track.

This leaves my husband feeling frustrated and a bit lost with what has actually happened. In fact, to be honest, sometimes the ‘take over’ is so subtle that even I have not noticed until all of a sudden the penny drops and I realize what has been happening – sounds silly I know, but it does happen. 

This situation is not good for either of us – obviously.

It takes us back to the one step forward and two steps back scenario. Though my husband has been more of an HoH in the last month than ever before, and we are certainly going ahead, there is always the potential of those control issues getting out of hand and turning into those ‘meltdown’ moments. When this happens, figuratively speaking-all hell breaks loose. This takes us back almost to square one (and a very sore rear).

Submission is an act of the will. I am willing – but human. Sometimes those human ‘emotions’ get in the way. Especially when nowadays the equality of men and woman is taught at every turn in the page of life. It is not easy giving that control to a husband when you feel that you are alone in this journey (except of course for those friends on blogger).

(Submission/obedience takes a strong person – not a weak person. Many people consider it to be demeaning and degrading.  It is those who do not understand, that despise a virtue they know nothing about. They are vocal about being against it, because in some ways, I think they wish the same but are just not strong enough to face up to it. Sorry if that offends you, it is just what I think. Submission is never forced on a person. It is the opposite of oppression. Submission is a gift of one to another. It is a gift that is given. Sometimes needed to be given daily or several times in a day when you find yourself on the verge of taking back that control)

Anyway, I think I have gone off track to the purpose of this essay of ‘Why Me Taking Control is Bad for us)...So, back on track we go. 588 words completed.

Darn...now I have lost my train of thought...with 168 words to go.... (Apparently this type of sentence should not be counted in the total word count in future)

Our house runs smoothly and happily when the dynamics are in the right place. The Silence as the HoH, and me as the submissive/obedient wife.  It doesn’t seem that hard to do...but in reality, though it does and is getting easier (in some areas) it is hard to do.  

Trying to take back control is destructive to our relationship. Or maybe that should read ‘taking back control’ instead of ‘trying’.

You know I could point out here that it is bad for my rear....

Nope still don’t have my train of thought back...this is what happens when your HoH is on the other side of the table listening to some monotone person talking on a video 

37 words to go....

I guess that really what it boils down to is this:

Good dynamics in an HoH/DD/Ttwd households relies on both the husband and wife being in the place where they should be.

The husband as the head and the wife in obedience/submission. And the last thing being, while it is not good for me to take back control......

We can both learn from our failures as well as our successes. 

Even if sometimes I feel like just doing this......

Just a Little Rambling Post :)

Three days away at an Internet Conference (yawn yawn) but it did mean that we were away from the house which was nice.

No spanking (or hardly any) and I did find out that it is no good saying 'You cannot spank me because people will HEAR' Because The Silence will attempt to spank anyway :(

New rules are afoot in the House of Hez! (Or should that be the House of HoH?)Some I keep forgetting, but that is ok as The Silence is there to remind me of them...sometimes daily.

It really is hard to keep track them...these new rules. Some deal with habits...like smoking.
Now only allowed to buy one packet per week...sigh. That is going to be a hard one as some weeks I am pushing for two and a half packs of tobacco (I roll my own).

The Silence has certainly found his niche as HoH.

If you have read my previous post about him going all HoH in the mall, then you might enjoy knowing that the words

'Excuse ME?'

came out of the HoH'y mouth at the conference. Ok, so I was peeved and walked on past him without saying anything. But we did get some looks when he said THAT loud enough for people to hear.

Last night when we finally made it home it was 'catch up spanking' from the things that happened while we were away. You know, those things that I said he could not spank me for as people would HEAR.
For some reason, his lecture seemed absolutely hilarious. I know, that sounds disrespectful...it is not meant to be. Honestly.

It was just that when The Silence said...

"I expect you to treat me with the most respect when we are out and about'

I just could picture one of our daughters teachers who considered interrupting to be...

'The absolute height of rudeness' (seriously, you have to have an English accent and speak in a posh voice to get this)

Well, The Silence said his piece in almost the same sort of voice...I found it funny, he did not. Oh well.

So ttwd is plodding along quite nicely right now. We seem to have found our places..hmm, some of us are still having problems in that area. Not telling which one of us though.

I have learnt this :

Then again, sometimes The Silence remains silent...this is probably the reason why...

Lucky 'crazy' does not happen often :)

Hugs and may your day be spank free!

COME BACK HERE!

Boss Day..last Saturday.

Picture if you will a busy mall, on a Saturday, on Easter weekend, school holidays...a VERY busy mall, the busiest on our side of the city...and the most popular one too.

Add into that picture a wife who is starting to get just a little frustrated with all of the crowds, not being able to find what she is looking for, and the 'interactive directions map' is ...well...crap.....

Go a little bit further into the picture and see the wife (the good submissive wifey) standing by her Hoh waiting for him to use the stupid interactive map and find the store they are looking for. Picture too, if you will, the Hoh looking up the wrong shop, walking away and letting someone else use the stupid crappy machine after spending a good five minutes getting the thing to finally work and then five minutes trying to find the shop in the list.

Add in (sorry hope you are good at adding in) a wife with an incredulous look on her face that her Hoh has looked up the wrong shop after all that time and has now handed his place over to someone else, and that good submissive wifey walks away when the good intentioned Hoh says that they can line up again and use the interactive machine for a second time.

And the good submissive wifey keeps walking....

'COME BACK HERE!'

Ah...What? It is in red and large for a reason...because that is how HE yelled it....in a mall, a busy mall (did I say that it was an extremely busy mall?)

IN FRONT OF EVERYONE

OK, so he got all HoH'ee....which is good (I guess) but in a MALL?????

I would like to point out here that the rest of the day did not go well at all. He was apologetic and I was silently apoplectic.

For some unknown reason I was looking around for the kid he was yelling for to COME BACK HERE! before I realised it was me he was talking too...ME....his good submissive wifey!!!

I guess that I can be thankful that it was not in church.....

I am more mindful now when we go out though, as I have no idea what he could yell next time. So it has a silver lining after all.

We have a three day seminar coming up next week, all day for three days...I so hope that he has no reason to forget that we are not at home and that he cannot just say what he is thinking...loudly!