Well, IT was a good day..the day I earned my halo....Pity I lost it.
Yesterday was the day from H***! Not because of anything in particular..it was just one of those days when it was hot (43 degrees C). A house full of teenage girls...so much to do, so little time.
I felt like I had lost control.
So I took some back :(
I didn't complete the daily task list..and said I did :(
I looked at the washing on the line...and left it there :(
I looked at my laptop still on (meant to be off just before The Silence comes home)...and left it on :(
I lied through my teeth that things were done :(
and ...big sigh here...
Distanced like there was no tomorrow and told The Silence that I was fine and not distancing at all :(
Now I have been introduced to loss of privileges...I lost my laptop for 24 hours. Have only just got it back.
And I have been introduced to the soap in the mouth :( :( :(
And.....
Also to the biggest spanking in all our weeks of doing DD. The Silence lectured and talked, and whacked until he got through the distancing. This would be a first, where I am quite happy to come out of the cave thank you very very much, and as soon as possible.
It would also be the first time that a spanking has actually got through to me.
Anyway, time for bed now. Way way tired after today's tasks..yesterdays to finish and today's to do as well. And no laptop, so had plenty of time for those 'extra' lessons in obedience and respect.
Not intending to lose the laptop again, or suck soap in a hurry either.
There will be another day that I will be able to earn my halo back...maybe tomorrow? :)
Oh, we've all made some of these mistakes. Sometimes it seems to just snowball. It is wonderful, however, that he quickly spanked you and got through that distance. Yea you!!! Like you said, it's a new day and new opportunities to be the you that you want to be!!
ReplyDeleteHi SirQsmlb,
DeleteI could not believe how fast things did snowball! It was a downhill ride on a bicycle without brakes. But today IS a NEW day :)
M3, keep working at it. We all have days like this. Sometimes it's hard when it feels like everything has landed all at once. I hope you have a great nights sleep and have better success tomorrow ;)
ReplyDeleteCallie
Thanks Callie,
DeleteI think what threw me was having a housefull of people..and teenagers at that...
There just was not time for me to stop and breathe and deal with any 'control issues'. Not to mention trying to do the task list around a bunch of giggling girls. I like my days free, so was off track to start with..oh well, new day today :)
Okay don't throw things at me...but.. That is great!
ReplyDeleteNo not your behavior but Silence's. He stepped up. REALLY stepped up.
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"It would also be the first time that a spanking has actually got through to me."
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Upward and onward from here.
As for the Halo...if you feel it slipping, time to Hula with it!
I know you can do it. No more bratting-- S is onto you now :)
Er..LOVE YA?
Willie
LOL Willie!
DeleteYes, he is certainly onto me now. In a big way. The least little thing is now being picked up on, right down to the tone I use, if it is wrong it is wall time etc.
Having to learn very fast, but also to be thankful that he loves me that much to care too.
I have had two more 'close encounters' with getting through to me since that one about distancing. Both dealing with issues from the same day (as we ended up having guests..again. So could not deal with everything at once)
And..he has got through to me on all occasions.
So nice to cuddle up with him afterwards...instead of just being angry and distancing.
I am learning :) (mind you, my butt keeps reminding me everytime I sit at the moment too)
HE is going to start blogging next week!!!! That should be interesting :)
Going to get the hula hoop out..still have a bit of asthma, but hey, will see how it goes. Will be enough exercise just to keep the darn thing up I think :)
Hugs to you Willie :)
The biggest thing here---is him getting through to you. No kidding, that's huge! Remember what it feels like and hold onto how good it feels to be that close. It will help the next time you get closer to one of those D words.
ReplyDelete