This is an attempt at getting a decent post out in between coughing fits that I am sure are going to bend my ribs the wrong way around eventually.
I would also like to apologise that I am soooo out of the loop on your own blogs :( I havee 143 emails about blogs in the last week, and no way am I going to be able to catch up on them all. I really am sorry, as what you write and post I love to read and support, but with being sick I just have not been able to even get my brain around getting to here over the last two weeks other than the few short posts I have done.
Being sick has been no picnic. In my last post I mentioned about losing what control I do have in the house. That was when I just had the flu. It is now day 14 of still being under the weather.
On Friday of last week I was starting to feel a bit better and decided that we could go ahead with the 'Boss/submission weekend'...well...we did Friday night..sort off.
Saturday morning I woke up feeling ill and spent the rest of the day either in bed or my head in a bucket, perched on the toilet seat...I had picked up, from goodness knows where since I had been home all week with the flu...a gastro virus. Not good when you are already fighting a flu virus.
Control...oh, what I thought I had lost while I had the flu was nothing compared to the next few days...I had no control at all, not even over my own body.
The Silence at one stage had to help dry me after a shower, help me into bed, and help me at times from room to room, as nothing would actually stay in its own place, including walls that had a habit of jumping out at me at the most in appropriate moments, and that is when my befuddled brain realised that in this situation I was nothing but a puppet on a string, and that he was in control of everything...the house, me, shopping, me, cooking, me, laundry, me...
He has been such a big help with me being sick and at times an emotional mess. I am never an emotional mess, but I guess this time round there was no fight left in me. No walls were standing.
I would like to point out here that he now owes me a treat...I have made it through a whole week without a spanking..well, a little over a week (though I think I might be pushing the boundaries a bit since starting to feel a bit better).
This of course has nothing to do with finally being submissive and obedient. This is entirely by chance, because with being sick I had no resistance to being sent to bed to rest or told to go and sit down, or whatever else he happened to say as a directive. Nor did I have the energy to be sassy...
But all that seems to be making a reappearance since yesterday afternoon. I must be getting better, because the tongue is loosening up and starting to flap on its own again.
So The Silence now owes me:
$24.00 from Boot Camp (by the way, he is writing his own post on this, just taking his time)
A treat of some sort for both of us getting through Boot Camp (yes, it has been weeks)
A coffee out together (cannot remember what for now)
And a treat for just having a week free of spanking (ok, I was sick, but that doesn't count, it was still a week free)
So, in reality I have not really 'chased, caught and claimed' that dangling carrot on my own...The Virus's have helped immensely. Kudos to them for that..but for nothing else.
I can see things going back to 'normal' sometime in the next few days. Having the psychosomatic butt tingling thinking about it, because I know that it is coming. I cannot deny the fact that I feel he has itchy hands from lack of use.
That and the fact that I am still feeling sick, making it Day 14. So over it.
I can feel the walls rising along with the frustration of still being this way. I can feel the 'I want to break out' emotion rising its head.
I guess that is what Cabin Fever is...I have seen no one, nor left the house for 14 days...how do you people do it, who get snowed in?
I am even at the point of 'Rules be damned' I just don't care.
My current state of mind is not good. Everything is balanced precariously on that word: meh
The Silence has been lenient with things, as I have been ill. But I guess there is day a reckoning coming. I am so tired and have no energy...except in my tongue it seems.
Oh well, I guess that eventually I will feel normal again. The Silence will expect the rules to be obeyed and the leniency will be laid aside.
Hugs to all and may your day be spank free and that carrot that dangles makes it closer to your reach :)