Tuesday, 5 February 2013

Sick, Distancing Daisy and Control

Yep, it is summer time and I have the flu...seriously? It is summertime! Who gets the flu in summer? April through to October is Flu season!

I should of known...I always get grumpy...er, a day or two before I actually get sick. It is like a warning sign that I constantly ignore. Though this time I did mention to The Silence that I felt like I was PMS'ing and I should not of been. Never even crossed my mind that I was getting sick.

The weekend was not a good one, with Distancing Daisy parking up on our front lawn and moving in on Saturday afternoon.
I have not distanced for a long time, so I think she should of just kept on driving past and found somewhere else.

It was over a point that I though made perfect sense:
That sometimes, when The Silence is wrong (or I perceive that he is wrong) he appears to put the blame and everything else back onto me.

And in some cases he is right to do so.

But I hate excuses. Don't stand there and try and back peddle to dig yourself out of a hole that you have dug yourself.

Anyway, we sorted that one, by me saying that he has every right to change his mind as Hoh, and that is fine, but don't hand out excuses, just say

'As Hoh we are doing it this way' or that way, or whatever way you like...just don't make excuses.

That is what caused the distancing this time around..and to be honest, the feeling of loss of control over situations too.

I thought I was past that stage of thinking about control. Obviously not :(
In some ways, because of what I say and do when it comes to some issues, I am still very much in control, and when The Silence changes his mind etc, then I find myself struggling to maintain that control. Suddenly, I do not have it anymore.

Pretty isn't it? The nasty little thing it is.....
A bit like the flu virus, control comes sneakily through your body to jump out at the slightest chance it gets.

I guess eventually control will lost the battle and I will be the submissive, obedient wife...oneday :)

Pity like this natural remedy for the flu that there was not one for distancing and control

(Please forgive me if this post does not make sense, has missing words or spelling mistakes. Brain is very much not working today at all, and I am starting to wonder if it ever will again)

Hugs, and may you all catch that dangling carrot, and be spank free


  1. I really hope you are back to good health soon and I love natural remedies and I am copying that into my concoction book.

  2. Hope you feel better soon. I hate having the flu in Summer. Although I do find a swim at the beach when I'm not feeling well actually helps a lot.


  3. Hi Hez
    Sorry you feeling so poorly. It's crap. Still can't get over you guys having summer, we woke up to a good few inches of snow again this morning :(
    I so understand what you're saying about HOHS blaming everything else. We had a similar situation last night and I was really upset with hubs over it. I just shut down and didn't want to talk to him.
    We did get sorted, sort of, still need to talk about it though.
    Try and talk things out, I find distancing just makes it so much worse, but then again who am I to dish out advise.
    Hope you feel better soon x

  4. I wish it were summer here! Hope you feel better soon. The flu is NO GOOD

  5. Rest Hez...hope you feel better real soon.

    I heard what you were saying with the control stuff but you are communicating with the S really well. I hope you see how much you have both changed in tackling this stuff before it really gets under your skin.

  6. I wish Distancing Dixie would fly to the southern hemisphere and pick up your Daisy and head out ...well somewhere. Try coughing on her! Maybe then she'd go down for the count!

    Hope you are feeling better soon. What you have sounds down right awful.

    A wave from a safe distance

  7. Sorry to hear your ill, hope you feel better soon.

  8. Hi all, I was going to comment on each reply, please forgive me if I don't. My temp is up, brain is not in gear, and I keep hving to backspace to get the spelling right on this reply. Thank you all for your get well wishes, I don't think I have been this sick for a very long time.
    The Silence is being an absolute gem! Making sure I am resting and the daily list has contained only 'get well' and 'rest' He has even been doing dinner and the shopping, and tucking me into bed when he gets home. Such a change from what it used to be, where I still battled on. I am feeling so loved right now.
    Anyway, another day is going to be spent on the couch watching StarTrek Enterprise. Love to all and once again thank you so much for your replies and get wwll wishes

  9. I'm sorry you're sick. :( I think distancing is a bit of a defense mechanism and as such, it may not be something we ever fully overcome. However, I think you did a great job of communicating with the Silence. I hope you're feeling better soon! (((hugs)))

  10. I guess as long as people travel to the different hemispheres the flu will happen in summer and winter. We in the USA was hard hit. It is so hard to talk people into taking the flu vaccine. Thirty to Forty THOUSAND people in the USA die from the flu every year. Some people think because they never had it, they will never get it, however viruses mutate to survive. Some people don't take it because they still got the flu, but usually in that case it is a milder case than they would have had... who knows they could have been one who died. I told my coworkers (most who were in their 20s and 30s) that they would probably get over the flu if they got it because they were healthy... however they can pass it to someone before they know they have it, and that person could die. Even if you survive, sometimes you feel soooo bad that you feel like you're going to die. Sometimes adults get fever of 103 to 104 degrees fahrenheit which is really serious.I'm a RN but I seldom talked very many people to do it, because they worried about the 15 dollars that it cost them. My workplace offered it at cost. I'm so sorry that you have this debilitating illness. I will pray that you soon will feel better. Try to make yourself drink plenty of fluids, try to keep some nutrition even though you probably have no appetite. Do not push yourself too much when you start to feel a little better, because you can end up in the hospital. Please take the flu vaccine next year, if they offer it. It is our ONLY defense other than washing our hands.. and because it is also airborn, that doesn't completely stop the spread. Encourage others to get it also to prevent the spread. People who get the flu learn how terrible it is, and are usually the first in line to get the vaccine the next year. I will ask God to help you get well soon. God bless you and yours, Belle L.

  11. Hez, I really hope you're feeling better by the time you get this post. I think you really hit on something when you said you wish he'd just say that as HoH he was changing things without excuses. It's given me a lot to think on because I feel it has something in it that will really help us out in our journey. Thank you so much for sharing. I hope that Distancy Daisy packs her bags soon and realizes she's not as fond of your house as she used to be. ;)