I have to say doing these essays, are giving me enough stuff to post :)
A Vision of My Consistent Husband. (um..what?)
(500 words not including the title or references to cheesecake)
I don’t have a vision of a consistent husband. I just need a husband that is consistent, or at least respects me enough to tell me why he is letting things slide instead of dealing with them at the time. Otherwise, I spend hours wondering what the punishment is going to be.
And then find out there isn’t any.
I want that accountability, security, direction, his covering and protection. His guidance in our marriage, his guidance and consistency that is going to improve, (not fix because it was not broken) our relationship with each other.
As a consistent husband you are responsible for leading and I am responsible for following. I recognise that it is a hard thing to do. You have to deal with my female ways...or mischief if you want to call it that, you have to still deal with things when you would rather be resting, or doing something else, you have to deal with your own emotions of whether this is fair, or spank when you don't want too, or decide what is best, while I have to learn to follow, to yield, to be submissive and to trust.
Consistency brings harmony. Would you rather I snuggled up in your arms in contentment, with trust and respect for you, with intimacy, with love? Or would you rather let things slide and end up with a wife that is distancing, distrustful, rebellious and back in control?
Consistency brings that intimacy and trust. And respect for you as my husband, the Hoh, the man I married, the one I love. There is no room for doubt about ttwd – this thing we do, when consistency is exercised each day.
Having a consistent husband eliminates frustration. There is no bitterness when punishments are administered. Quite the opposite in fact. There is anger, bitterness, a feeling of loss, of abandonment, that you don’t care, disrespected all of that, when you are not consistent.
I can see you stepping up when it is needed, but still being compassionate and understanding even while deciding what needs to be done, but not letting that get in the way of the rules. The rules we made when we first started.
In our relationship we need to have consistency. Emotional reactions, and that is purely what they are to anything that is not followed through leaves one feeling abandoned, disrespected (yes, us females can feel that too) that you don’t care.
I am not asking for perfection...sheesh, no one can be perfect.
If you cannot think what should be done....say something. Don’t leave it hanging for hours – in silence. Tell me that you recognise a problem that needs dealing with, but at this time you have not decided on a ‘correct’ action that needs to be taken. But don’t leave it to the following day either. Lack of sleep because of worry about what could be coming up is not in the best interest for either of us, as you well know. The decision needs to be done in a timely manner.
I don’t see you as a dictator, or abusive (I agreed to ttwd/dd) or controlling. I see you as my loving husband, who for the good of our relationship, the good of our home is helping me/us to be loving, understanding, in line and walking each step with each other, each minute, each hour, each day, month and year from here on forward.