Thursday, 31 January 2013

Well..Almost got the Dangling Carrot

And that was the end of my no spanking or corner time streak of nearly, almost...three days
(and he looked like that too)

The Silence is back at work at few days ago after having five weeks off. It seems strange having the house to myself again. The quiet days..not that he is noisy....

So anyway, I lost my concentration on the dangling carrot of being spank free for a week because of one simple question...want to know what it was?

'Do you want to go for a walk?'
Seriously ... one dumb question that I answered no to.
Then was told that we were going, that the final decision was his.

Weeeelllll why bother asking when I actually had no choice anyway?

We went on our walk, with me being mature making snide remarks about nothing in particular.
Then I decided that what I really wanted to say was '***k' knowing that I am not allowed to swear, I used other words instead, one after another, just like the mature woman I am....

Trucks, ducks, sucks, trucks suck...and the list goes on.


Someone who is the Hoh of house is not as silly as one would hope. He started playing 'the game' with words like:

Paddle, smacking, cane..and his list went on too :(

We finally headed home and into the bedroom I go...and there he applied the physical aspect of the words he was using..but not the cane..we don't have one of those..yet....

I guess I am still angry that he asks me a question that he usually knows that the answer is going to be 'no thanks' and then tells me that we are doing it anyway.
I cannot understand the reasoning behind this at all.

Why cannot he not just say...'hey get your shoes on, we are going for a walk?'
Why give me the choice to say no, then get peeved when he says yes we are?

I know...getting peeved is my choice.

Anyway, I am starting the eyes on the dangling carrot far not much trucken luck....


  1. That would annoy me too Hez. It's not fair that they ask us if we want something and then make their decision final anyway. My H does it too.


  2. Hey Callie,

    Drives me nuts. He does say it is because he wants me to have a choice, but the final decision is his. Well, yes. I know that, and I should of learnt by now that there are some questions he asks that the answer should be yes to, as I know that he is going to go ...well, tough we are doing it anyway...
    Must be a male thing....


  3. Oh gosh I love that picture, That;s the exact look on my cat's face right now cos' he has just been caught in the rain and is making his displeasure unknown at the top of his meow. Hope you have a spank free day today:) love jan.

    1. Hi Jan

      Thank you for your comment. I can just imagine your cat looking like that!
      No spank free day today...have not been in the best of moods since he came home.
      Oh well, always tomorrow!

      Hugs :)

  4. Oh Hez
    That darn dangling carrot. Some one should just grab the ba********d and stick it in the juicer and be done with it lol
    I'm sorry you didn't make it. I had to laugh at your "words" and them at his.
    I think they only ask the question to prove they have final say. Hubs even goes as far as saying " do you need to be spanked" I mean come on as if I'm goin to say " oh yes please sir"
    Oh well just start again, one of us has to catch that damn thing, then we can share it :)

    1. LOL MBC (got the short cut to your name off Willie)

      I agree, the juicer it is !!!

      I have been asked that question too 'Do you need to be spanked' and thought the same thing...
      Have also been asked 'How is this spanking for you?' (a punishment spanking by the way...) and made the mistake of saying how wonderful it was thank you very was the last time I made that mistake :(

      You are right MBC, one of us has to catch that darn carrot! I will gladly share it with you :)

      Hugs and may you have a spank free week!!

  5. Rhetorical Question perhaps? Or maybe, just maybe if you came up with a valid reason for NOT wanting to go, you wouldn't be going.

    Just another thought- perhaps you should (respectfully- I know...sheesh who do I think I am talking to right?) mention to Silence...that this sort of thing puts you in a bad frame of mind- the non-question question. Clearly it is going to be ongoing until you talk about it. **AND if memory serves me correctly, you may need to have that conversation several

    Okay I'm leaving now before you throw the darn carrot AT me.


    1. Hey Willie,

      Must be a rhetorical question I think. Have talked to him about it. Will again and again no doubt. He does it I think so that he does not feel that he is controlling 'situations' Silly....I mean he is the Hoh.
      I guess eventually he will get the 'don't ask, just tell me'

      You want some carrot too?


  6. That would definitely drive me crazy!!

    1. yep..we can all go crazy together!!

  7. Oh, Hez, I actually don't think that's fair to you. We're told not to do that with kids, offer them a choice when they don't have one. We're told that if we have to offer a choice on something non negotiable, to do it on the circumstances. Like, if he said, "We're going on a walk, do you want to go now, or in 15 minutes?" If you have no choice as to time, or if you're going or not, I don't think it's fair to ask... but that's just my opinion. It would get me quite annoyed too, because I'd wondered why I'd been asked my opinion if it didn't matter, and then would feel that what I felt didn't matter. But that's just me... Could you maybe sit down with him and explain why this bothers you so much? Sometimes we don't realize we're contributing to someone's angst until we're made aware of it. I hope all goes well either way! :)

    1. Hi Es May

      I think he is still learning a lot about being an Hoh. I also have come to the conclusion that he asks because he thinks it is too controlling to just say it.
      I will just have to be patient and understanding until he gets it.


  8. could tell him Hez! He may not have a clue that this is making you crazy.

    If you do, go with a dangling apple. They are a bit harder to catch in your mouth.

    1. Hey Susie,

      Have told him (or rather talked to him about we ever 'tell' our husbands anything now that they are the Hoh?) Hopefully it will change and he will understand that is is an unfair question to ask.


  9. What is going on today with .....grrr, blogger...
    I thought that I commented here, it has been happening to me all day!

    I think these HoHs do it to flex their dominance muscle - Ian is fond of it, and we have had many discussions about it, because inevitably it can lead to me becoming combative, and then getting into trouble. I consider it "baiting" and he doesn't, but interestingly he has tried to consciously stop doing it.....meaning it occurs less often.
    I figure I can get into enough trouble on my own, please lets not have entrapment.
    I also figured that Ian loved his new HoH powers so much, after years of suppressed manliness, that he was showing off......not saying that is your hubby, but I think mine for sure.

    1. Hi Lillie

      Oh yes, the combative stance and voice..I am very, very good at that!
      I too can get into enough trouble on my own, without him adding to it too. Though I think even if he said 'we are going for a walk' I would find it hard not to say something. Guess it all comes down to biting the tongue :)


    2. Stupid computer froze right when I went to hit post!

      Anyway WHAT is with the baiting anyway?....I mean Barney is not Ian ( says small prayer in thanks..Not because I don't LOVE your Ian...I do..almost as much as the fact that I love he's YOUR Ian) but he's always pulling the bait and (potential) switch. Grrrrr...I am forever saying..."HEY! You are not supposed to bait me! " he gives me a sheepish smile and says " Oh you are right" Grrrrrr.

  10. : ) sorry, I liked your story, and everything that happened. If you didn't throw the carrot at Willie you can throw it at me now. Maybe knock some sense into my head.

    1. Hi Blue Bird

      I don't mind that you liked the story :)Won't throw the carrot at you ... Only bought a kilo bag and I am running out of them :)