Communication. The Saving Grace to any relationship...Dd or not.
Communication - Politely, instead of in anger.
Communication - Do not assume
Communication - Accept
Communication - Patience (um...really?)
Communication - Understanding (yep understanding that my butt is going to be glowing)
Bad communication leads to : Lying, anger and distancing.
Good communication leads to better days the next day. Seriously, it does
I have to learn to be patient (yep), understanding (hmmm....) and acceptive of situations (ah, Oooookkkaay)
Control leads to anger, anger leads to lying (to cover the control) which leads to even more anger, that leads to distancing, which can lead to guilt and even more anger about it, which then leads back to control...the desperate attempt to get back what you feel you have lost. Confused?
By the way...Distancing I think, is control. You control your emotions, and what goes on around you, by keeping things (0r husbands) at a distance, more often to protect your fragile emotional balance at the time.
Soooooo, all this came out yesterday after our very long chat about what happened on Friday night.
Saturday morning (yesterday) I was up very early, thinking things through, sort of had the Distancing under control....
Or thought I had..right up until I took him his coffee.
Distancing reared its head, like it had a life of its own. A residue of the feelings from Friday night. Darn.
I thought he would never know, thereby saving my butt, if I got it under control before he woke..the best laid plans of mice and men, sadly go astray....
Anyhoo, back to the communication bit....we talked for about an hour..eventually. After he came back from dropping off the daughter at dance again. Before he left, I gave him the blog I wrote yesterday about how I was feeling. He was not a happy chappy :(
He explained that he had forgotten, not intentionally. He explained that when he asked what was wrong, instead of lying and saying 'nothing' (sometimes you know, you just cannot be bothered) I should of said something to him, reminded him...COMMUNICATED...yes, ok, point taken.
So, it was dealt with, as only those in ttwd can deal with things. OTB.
Now I have to remember that to save the Distancing Butt in future, I have to communicate...