Sunday, 9 December 2012

Communication and its Saving Grace

I swear it is the air we breathe...Once again, have you noticed we all seem to have the same type of problems  issues around about the same time?

Communication. The Saving Grace to any relationship...Dd or not.

Communication - Politely, instead of in anger.
Communication - Do not assume
Communication - Accept
Communication - Patience (um...really?)
Communication - Understanding (yep understanding that my butt is going to be glowing)

Bad communication leads to : Lying, anger and distancing.

Good communication leads to better days the next day. Seriously, it does

I have to learn to be patient (yep), understanding (hmmm....) and acceptive of situations (ah, Oooookkkaay)

Control leads to anger, anger leads to lying (to cover the control) which leads to even more anger, that leads to distancing, which can lead to guilt and even more anger about it, which then leads back to control...the desperate attempt to get back what you feel you have lost.  Confused?

By the way...Distancing I think, is control. You control your emotions, and what goes on around you, by keeping things (0r husbands) at a distance, more often to protect your fragile emotional balance at the time.

Soooooo, all this came out yesterday after our very long chat about what happened on Friday night.
Saturday morning (yesterday) I was up very early, thinking things through, sort of had the Distancing under control....

Or thought I had..right up until I took him his coffee.

Distancing reared its head, like it had a life of its own. A residue of the feelings from Friday night. Darn.

I thought he would never know, thereby saving my butt, if I got it under control before he woke..the best laid plans of mice and men, sadly go astray....

Anyhoo, back to the communication bit....we talked for about an hour..eventually. After he came back from dropping off the daughter at dance again. Before he left, I gave him the blog I wrote yesterday about how I was feeling. He was not a happy chappy :(

He explained that he had forgotten, not intentionally. He explained that when he asked what was wrong, instead of lying and saying 'nothing' (sometimes you know, you just cannot be bothered) I should of said something to him, reminded him...COMMUNICATED...yes, ok, point taken.

So, it was dealt with, as only those in ttwd can deal with things. OTB.

Now I have to remember that to save the Distancing Butt in future, I have to communicate...


  1. It's always communication isn't it.... LOL
    Communication is that wonderful hindsight word that we look to after we have done the wrong thing and realised that we should have used it instead. Using communication after only ends the situation rather than preventing it. Wouldn't it be nice if we could all remember to communicate first?

    Hope you're having a great Sunday M3

  2. Thanks Callie,

    Oh how hindsight would be wonderful!! How do we forget to communicate first?

    Should be the first thing we remember...why is it always the last? Silly word.

    Hope your Sunday is going great Callie, mine got off to a good start.


  3. The thing about communication, IWO ( thanks Mr.BB, In Wilma's Opinion, notice there is no H for humble) is that sure you can't think of it at the time, but you can mention it after, and hopefully, eventually get to the point in the future recognize the importance of saying it during. The organic, evolution of communication in ttwd.

    New Week for You...More Halo opportunities, I can feel it in my chilly bones :)

    1. I always enjoy your IWO Willie :) stay tuned for the latest in the communication issues, and a new instalment in 'what not to say while OTB'

      Yes, more halo days are coming..I too can feel it in my bones..oh wait, that could be my halo strangling my thighs.....

      Hugs Willie :)

    2. LOL! I am tellin' ya you need to learn how to Hula hoop, that way the halo can only slide HALF way down!

    3. What a brilliant idea! Then at least I could keep it above my knees!

  4. Communication is one of the most difficult things, isn't it? and it's not just about the words, but the energy behind them that matters. So it's hard to communicate when you feel angry, because then how do you stay respectful? I totally understand and sympathize with your plight...

  5. Hi Renee Rose, Thank you for commenting, and nice to 'meet' you :)

    Ah, yes...I agree, the 'energy' behind the words matters just as much :( and a continued problem of mine (along with many others, as Willie will attest too)
    How do you stay respectful when you are angry and are asked to communicate, stay tuned for that answer when I finally work it out myself. Though The Silence seems to think that a nice long corner time helps calm the situation...sigh..