Tuesday, 30 October 2012

I own it...

I own it and I will take it like a woman!

'Can't we rethink this? An alternative punishment perhaps? You are not using that are you? You look so tired, maybe we can do this tomorrow? No? Are you sure? Ow owowow, no no no, stop, are we finished yet? no, stop.
Yep, just like that.  (no offence intended to anyone by the way)

Sitting rather gently at the moment after Sunday nights big slip up (now 1am on Tuesday morning, but once again had to wait for the girl to go out so we could 'administer the appropriate punishment' on Monday night, which was only a few hours ago)

Not a good idea to challenge The Silence's authority in front of your teenage daughter. Nope, not a good idea at all.(Cue Jaws music here) Not a good idea to be so peeved that you ignore him when he wants a cuddle, and you go to sleep after he says 'Ok that's fine' Because it is going to come back and bite you on the butt. (just like Jaws) He is not letting you off, he is just biding his time, because it is really late and he is tired. Not a good idea to call him a whinger, or a pussy (again...sigh), or to hit him with a pillow at the end of the 'time over the bed' or to snatch your PJ bottoms and storm off to the car either.  Or lose it a zillion times in the 11 minute ride to the pick up point for your teenage daughter.

Oh, or forget to complete 'The List'  which I am still waiting to find out the punishment for as The Silence decided that we would do an alternative punishment for that one. Doing this blog now, just in case I end up with no internet or laptop.

I put all this down here...and own it all. My fault entirely. Why is it that it is my mouth that just keeps getting me into trouble? Why is it that those sassy sassy sassy toes just keep on wiggling?

Why is it that The Silence took a page from someone else's blog and did what her husband does with the count up to ten...or else? AND he did it silently too,while I was standing in front of him asking him to tell me when he was going to start, so that I had time to think about it, and hand over what he wanted.
He was finished counting while I was still waiting for him to start...sigh...

Those silly endorphins too. They cause trouble. A whole lot of it.

When I am tired they seem to kick in. In droves. Invading my body, making me feel really good, like I could save the world. I become an untouchable....every part of me, except my butt.

I have a love/hate relationship with those endorphins.

But I am happy. Really, I am. I am happy, because slowly, just ever so slowly I am learning.

'With knowledge comes obedience' that is what I got from my Bible reading this morning. And it is true.
The Silence and I are communicating more than I think we ever had.

He first named the incident in front of our daughter as disrespect..and yes it was. But it was not until he said it challenged his authority did it actually sink in. Challenging his authority has been such a big issue since the day we got married. It really has meant nothing to me at all, until we started this DD lifestyle. Then when he said on Sunday night that I 'had challenged his authority in front of our daughter' my heart sank. It meant something finally. It meant that I had hurt him, that I didn't think he was capable. So yes, I own it...fair and square.

'With knowledge comes obedience' I can now stop, think and look at what I am saying in a situation where I could possibly be challenging that authority. I can learn from this (hopefully not too slowly) and we can move on.

I could type a whole heap more, not even sure that any of this makes sense as it is now 2am, and I should be in bed.

Going to be thinking more about the authority. Will have to store it in a box, in my mind, to take out and examine bit by bit, until I understand it completely. But for now, I will settle for sleep. The box is currently open, and it will still be that way when I wake in the morning.

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