Saturday, 27 October 2012


I have called this post Ramblings, because that is probably all this is going to be. It is possibly all I can manage this early in the morning.

Sleep has always been an issue. Four hours at the most nearly every night, sometimes less than that. So by the time everyone else is up and ready to face the day, I am thinking dinner and bed, and that is only at 6.30am! So I guess blogging is something constructive to do to start the day.

Along with my daily Bible Reading and THAT Health Diary.

Still struggling with the Health Diary. The Bible Reading is going well, and no longer dig my toes in about that one. Some days it can be quite interesting.

Back to the Health Diary.
I never realised just how much I don't eat! I am a big person, bigger in weight than I should be for my size, so where is all that extra storage coming from?
I hate that Health Diary. I see the reason why The Silence wants it. But all it is showing me is how really, I don't take good care of myself.  Well, at least it has had its purpose then.

There are some days that I wish I could sit down and have a coffee with someone who also lives this lifestyle. Someone tangible, someone to pat your arm and say it is all going to be ok, have a chat and a laugh about some silly thing you did, commiserate with each other over the consequences of doing that silly thing. Go shopping....yeah, maybe not that one.

According to The Silence I had a 'melt down' on Thursday night over the back door (previous posts). I thought it was a slight warming up, not a melt down. But apparently it was. Though I did not yell, I certainly had a raised voice. Well yes...I did. But it was not a melt down. Well, ok, maybe it was. I thought I did so well. Took myself off to bed to stew sleep..oh wait. That is distancing. And because our daughter did not go out last night, Thursdays meltdown and distancing accountability had to be put off to be dealt with today. Along side last nights verbal slip ups.
I tell you, it is not a good idea to say 'whatever' to the HOH when he is talking about one of the D', Disrespect I think it was at the time.

I have a dairy all these 'misdemeanour's' are written in. The Silence has a phone app. There is a list there with my name on it, that he add 'things' to. I feel so special :)

He suggested a short walk last night. What he considers to be a short walk is actually a long one. I don't care what he says, 45 mins is a long time! Anything over 15 mins is a long time. Tis ok, though. I managed to turn us around somehow and head in the right direction of home, only because I thought he might of got lost on that long straight stretch of road from our house to his intended destination. This of course, will only work once. He might be a bit wiser next time.
Actually it was not that bad. It was a nice evening for a hike stroll. When we got back I told our daughter that if her Dad ever suggested a short walk, pack a lunch. She will need it.
It did give us a chance to talk without being over heard by teenage radar.

Well I guess I have rambled enough. Dawn has snuck quietly over the house, darkness has been pushed back. The birds are singing, the frogs are still chirping away in the garden, a last minute ditch to attract a mate before the sun rises. Hmmm, maybe I could go and chirp outside our bedroom, not a good idea. The Silence is not a morning person at all.


  1. I didn't do something that I was told to do yesterday. Later he was passing by me, and giving me very light love pats, everytime he went by. I asked him if he was going to give me a real one. His response was "When I am ready, that's when I will handle that." We went to bed and neither of us could sleep. We both got up. It was around 12:30am. I had him read an article about how women felt when their husbands didn't follow through. Oh my. It's like he went 0 to 100 in 2 seconds. He seemed agitated, and determined, all the sudden. Anyway I got a spanking, and we both went to bed and slept like babies. I did what I was asked to do today, so I wouldn't get a repeat. I don't know why, but it helps knowing it's all done. God Bless You and Yours, Belle L.

  2. Yes Belle, the waiting is the hardest, and I too hate going to bed with it unresolved. We came up with little 'reminder' tasks that fill in the waiting time until he is able to deal with it. Could be anything out of the ordinary in the way of cleaning, or some other task. This has helped to keep it in mind, plus I then know that it is not forgotten about. Makes me think twice too about doing a repeat during that time. I am a bit of a slow learner in the mouth department, so this keeps me focused too.
    Many Blessings for you today and may it be spank free :)

  3. You sound a little bit better. I'm glad!

    Food is tough huh?! I'm slowly figuring out which foods my body seems to want and really need and which ones only turn to fat. It's not as obvious as you'd think it is.

  4. Morning Susie, yes the food issue is a tough one to sort out. The last few days I keep forgetting to fill it out :( It just seems to be the same foods day in and day out, so gets a bit pointless from my POV. Oh well, obedience is the key here, as I am slowly learning :)